party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize