I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
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I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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