I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
