why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
