im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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