ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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