I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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