I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
