Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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