WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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