did you get engaged???
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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