I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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