good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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