This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
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It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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