he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
vagina is talking i cant
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
