The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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