Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
