for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
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Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
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Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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