i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
