Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
