Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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