the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
