better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
