Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
