Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
