D3 body, D1 cock
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
