New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
