I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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