he puts the penis in happiness.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
