Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
