i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
