So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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