remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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