I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
