Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
