If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
