The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bring me that man meat
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
