I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
