Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
