We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize