He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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