i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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