Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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