eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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