I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
