You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
