You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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