We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
