Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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