Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
