try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
