Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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