How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
