I think scott just propositioned me for sex
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize