Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
