I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ttyl tear gas
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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