Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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