I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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