I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
