I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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