That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize