Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
