that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have aggressive nipples.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
