she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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