You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
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The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
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The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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